


Not Your Fault

by Jo_busch_got_booty



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-04-04 18:24:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4148205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jo_busch_got_booty/pseuds/Jo_busch_got_booty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"All this bad blood here-- won't you let it dry?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Your Fault

I tend to blame myself for what happened. He always tells me that was insane, that, Jean, you can’t take the fall for everything. His finger twist in along with mine, and even without looking, I know he’s smiling at me. Usually he cuts off there, and usually I brush off his words, but today he keeps talking, insisting-- Jean, it’s not your fault. 

“Look at it this way, Jean,” he says carefully, and the serious tone in his voice makes me turn to face him. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” I swallow. “You were doing your job-- and part of your job is protecting other officers, is it not?” I nod slowly, and he absently combs his fingers through his ponytail. “Jean, if someone pulled a gun on you, I’d hope someone would do for you what you did for Reiner.”

I wince at the memory. Reiner has a scar on his arm from that day. It reaches from his shoulder to the top of his elbow, and that was only from the knife. I don’t like to think of what might have happened had I not come to in time. Most of that day is a blur. The doctors tell me that it only makes sense that it would be, I hit my head pretty hard. I remember the shadowy outline of the criminal, Reiner struggling as hard as he could, and I remember feeling the cool metal of my gun at my fingertips, the deafening discharge. I remember waking in a hospital, Armin’s deep sigh of relief as I let out a groan of pain. 

“Oh, God, Jean,” he breathed into the dark room, “thank god.” 

I learned later that I’d stopped Reiner from being shot, and that even with my double vision, I’d managed to shoot the attacker in the neck. In the neck. I cringe unconsciously, and Armin runs his thumb along my knuckles. “You saved him,” he reminded gently, and I shake my head.

“I killed someone to do it.” I know he’s frowning, but I can’t bring myself to open my eyes. He sighs in my ear, and rests his head on my shoulder. 

“You’re right,” he agrees, “but that someone was planning on hurting an innocent person.” His hair tickles my neck, but I don’t ask him to move. “Jean, honey, you did the right thing. I don’t want to think of what might have happened to you or Reiner if you didn’t act. Don’t be so hard on yourself, alright?”

I let out a long breath. “Yeah . . .” I agree finally. I’m not sure if I can keep the promise, but maybe this is enough to help Armin stop worrying about me. He buries his face in my shoulder, and through the fabric, I can feel the small smile that crosses his lips. “Alright.” That’s the end of the discussion. For now, anyway. I feel Armin relax against me, and I think that maybe I can learn to do the same. And I think how lucky I am to have him.


End file.
